A couple months ago I finally gave into my wife and agreed to get a dog. Marshmallow, our dog, has been a surprisingly fun addition to my life.
There are lots of fringe benefits to owning a dog. It gets you outside at least once a day, and and you have a friend that just hangs around waiting to play, or do tricks, or get a little TLC. Also, you can speak gibberish, say the dumbest things in the world, and your dog looks at you like you’re Socrates. In fact, research indicates that dog owners are healthier, happier, and more social.
However, dogs can also challenge us. They can be messy, needy, disobedient, or just an added responsibility to our overburdened lives. That said, it is these challenges that teach us and foster growth.
Marshmallow continues to challenge us. She’s stubborn, and at times insolent and manipulative, but she’s also loving, patient, and fun. As I struggle to teach her to roll over, she struggles to teach me how to communicate with her, and a number of other things. I’ve learned a lot from her already, and not just about dogs. In fact, our pet dogs teach us some incredible life lessons. These are some share-worthy ones:
Leadership: On the latest episode of the podcast, professional dog trainer Charly Vu told me that the most important thing to know about dogs is that they are pack animals. They want leadership, and so it’s up to us to be a leader for our dogs.
What does that mean?
Well, it means setting boundaries and being willing to say “no” to our dogs when they are putting themselves or others at risk (or doing something annoying). Being a leader also means making sure your dog has enough food, exercise, affection, and mental stimulation to thrive. In sum, it’s about looking out for your dog, just as you do for the people who look up to you.
Humility: Dog ownership encourages us to think of ourselves as part of a pack (even if it is a pack of two), and to consider the well-being of everyone in the pack. Moreover, individuals in a pack must put the interests of the pack above their own.
Dogs also teach us how to follow when others lead, especially when it is in the best interests of the pack. Humility is reciprocal.
A good leader will be humble enough to recognize when it is time to let another take the lead. A good leader is also willing to do the dirty work. As a dog owner, nothing says humility like bending over to pick up poop in minus twenty weather.
Fun: To encourage good behaviour in a dog, Charly tells his clients to “make it fun” for the dog. That means using play, treats, affection, excitement, or whatever motivates the dog.
Most dogs love to have fun. They live in the moment; they chill when nothing’s going on, then play ‘til they drop when it’s party time. In fact, they’ll even eat until they puke.
They are hedonists, walking FOMO. As such, dogs remind us to enjoy life when it’s good, and to try our best to make life fun when it’s not. It’s infinitely endearing to be around a creature that gets super excited at the mention of one word, “walk”, even if it’s something we do several times a day.
Clarity: As Charly says, it is important to use as few words as possible when teaching commands to your dog. Dogs can only learn so much human language, so we have to be mindful to choose our words wisely, and not to drown out the signal with unnecessary words. Truly, this is the essence of clarity.
Of course, there is also the other end of the spectrum, when we can talk gibberish to our dogs and they’ll respond as long as it is in the right tone. This highlights the importance of non-verbal communication.
At heart, having a dog reminds us that there are some times when verbal austerity is required, and then others when we can just say whatever silly thing pops into our head.
Graceful Aging: Our dogs are like children that we outlive. Naturally, there is both sadness and joy in this.
Sadness, of course, in that one day we will have to grieve the loss of our dog (a teachable moment on its own). And joy, in that we get to witness the entire lifespan of a being in all its glories and indignities.
One lesson I think we can take from our dogs here is how to stay young at heart, even as our physical and mental capabilities fade. That is, to continue to take pleasure in the simple things – good meals, love and affection, and of course, a nice walk.
Nurture: The evolution of dog breeds is fascinating! The fact that everything from a Chihuahua to a St. Bernhard has the same wolfen ancestor highlights the influence that nurture can have on a living creature.
On a micro level, this means that we can influence the nature of our dogs (up to a point, of course) with nurture. This doesn’t mean that we should try to mold our dogs to our whims. On the contrary, we ought to let our dogs be themselves.
Dogs have personalities that may be as varied as humans. Like humans, most dogs are good boys and girls at heart. As long as they’re provided with a safe home, love, nourishment, fun, and learning, they will turn out fine.
Purpose: Dogs can be trained to do amazing things, from pulling sleds to herding sheep. When given a job, a dog will focus on that one thing. For this reason, they have amazing work ethic. For example, Marshmallow still thinks she has to guard our home at night (she’s part sheepdog and lived on a farm before we adopted her).
I wonder if doing a job gives dogs a sense of purpose, like it does for us humans. For most pet dogs, that purpose is to make their humans happy. With that in mind, there’s a lesson for us: Our purpose in life is to make the lives of those around us better.
Patience: Charly identifies lack of patience as the biggest mistake he made when learning to become a professional dog trainer. I’ve lost my patience with Marshmallow on more than one occasion. But I’ve also learned patience from her.
I’ve learned not to overreact when she doesn’t obey a command. Instead, I try to take a deep breath and work with Marshmallow rather than trying to control her. This is a lesson I hope to take into other areas. Certainly, life can be frustrating (especially when we don’t have as much control as we’d like). However, with a dog, it’s been a little less so.
Have you learned any lessons from your own dogs (or other pets)? I’d love to hear them! Don’t forget to check out the latest episode on how to train a dog. If you enjoyed it, please rate and review. And don’t forget: There’s a teacher in every dog you meet!